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sysper

fantasy vs experiance

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sysper
Posted

the question has come up, is the fantasy meant to be realized or, is it meant to stay a fantasy? i've never been with a guy but it's been on my mind for years. it's been a big part of my fantasies for that time. i guess u can look at it as, how far do i wanna go? is just fantasizing about it enough or do i really think about the idea so highly, the next natural step is to go for it? which i guess is a fair question.

but, here's another question, what happens after i go for it? i've had these fantasies for so long they feel like a part of me. kinda give me comfort. once i realize them & experiance them for real the fantasies no longer exist, it's something i would loose. which is fine i guess if i find out from experiance i like being with guys, & i have enough opportunities to be with guys. but what happens if i don't like the experiance? if i hate it? if i loath it? if i feel repused? then the fantasy can never be used by me ever again & i'm left with nothing. yes there would be relief after years of torturing myself with curiosity. years when i was younger, more resiliant & more virile. but i would be emptier because the fantasies would be overshadowed by the grim realization it's not something i'd like.

i'm not talking about having a bad experiance like sleeping with a jerk or running out of lube. i could easily enough chalk it up to experiance but still know i could have a better experiance under better circumstances--a more suitable guy(s), a more private area, a better nite's sleep. i'm also not really talking about feeling guilty afterwards either. though that's another question, i guess if i kept doing it i would get over any guilt.

i'm talking about just not liking it. the fantasy looses it's power. do i then withdraw more from society? do i spiral out of control desparately & haphazzardly looking for meaning in my life? does my confusion grow so i miss opportunites to learn & be happy, or are things clearer to me than they have been for years? if so what do i see? what do i cling to? what do i aspire to? am i now able to be successful with seeking the right member of the opposite sex & establishing a healthy, joyfull relationship with her, or am i plunged even deeper in the hole of incompetence that drains most of the joy out of my life?

Freerid4unme6969
Posted
On 1/2/2019 at 6:33 PM, sysper said:

the question has come up, is the fantasy meant to be realized or, is it meant to stay a fantasy? i've never been with a guy but it's been on my mind for years. it's been a big part of my fantasies for that time. i guess u can look at it as, how far do i wanna go? is just fantasizing about it enough or do i really think about the idea so highly, the next natural step is to go for it? which i guess is a fair question.

but, here's another question, what happens after i go for it? i've had these fantasies for so long they feel like a part of me. kinda give me comfort. once i realize them & experiance them for real the fantasies no longer exist, it's something i would loose. which is fine i guess if i find out from experiance i like being with guys, & i have enough opportunities to be with guys. but what happens if i don't like the experiance? if i hate it? if i loath it? if i feel repused? then the fantasy can never be used by me ever again & i'm left with nothing. yes there would be relief after years of torturing myself with curiosity. years when i was younger, more resiliant & more virile. but i would be emptier because the fantasies would be overshadowed by the grim realization it's not something i'd like.

i'm not talking about having a bad experiance like sleeping with a jerk or running out of lube. i could easily enough chalk it up to experiance but still know i could have a better experiance under better circumstances--a more suitable guy(s), a more private area, a better nite's sleep. i'm also not really talking about feeling guilty afterwards either. though that's another question, i guess if i kept doing it i would get over any guilt.

i'm talking about just not liking it. the fantasy looses it's power. do i then withdraw more from society? do i spiral out of control desparately & haphazzardly looking for meaning in my life? does my confusion grow so i miss opportunites to learn & be happy, or are things clearer to me than they have been for years? if so what do i see? what do i cling to? what do i aspire to? am i now able to be successful with seeking the right member of the opposite sex & establishing a healthy, joyfull relationship with her, or am i plunged even deeper in the hole of incompetence that drains most of the joy out of my life?

It's all an experience so go for it and enjoy what you find out about yourself enjoysex with whomever is in front of you and behind you

Freerid4unme6969
Posted

I enjoy eating pussy and sucking cocks eating cream pie eating ass getting blowjob's and getting my ass played with toys are fun addition to a good time

sysper
Posted

thanks for the encouragement. i'm not denying it's not a bad idea to explore. but the fantasy is what keeps me going sometimes. if i loose that can i guarantee experiance will take it's place?

fuckme-5566
Posted (edited)

My fantasy's are 100%gay with me as a submissive which is something i embrace.I have been lucky enough to have been able to live out some of my fantasy's but not all.Embrace your dirty mind and explore your sexuality.I would walk home after a sexual encounter being able to still taste a guy's cock and cum in my mouth,feel my bottom leaking his juices and have his scent on my body and as a teenager wonder who i am.Am i disgusting and was the sex i just had right? Normal? Im older and embrace the acts of sex and love and enjoy the taste in my mouth,and feel the damp patch in my panties,yes im trans and love life and yes i go cottaging,it's one of my fantasy's as well as something i enjoy.I haven't whored myself yet but my group sex fantasy's have been turned into reality.Embrace it honey.

Edited by fuckme-5566
sysper
Posted
7 hours ago, fuckme-5566 said:

My fantasy's are 100%gay with me as a submissive which is something i embrace.I have been lucky enough to have been able to live out some of my fantasy's but not all.Embrace your dirty mind and explore your sexuality.I would walk home after a sexual encounter being able to still taste a guy's cock and cum in my mouth,feel my bottom leaking his juices and have his scent on my body and as a teenager wonder who i am.Am i disgusting and was the sex i just had right? Normal? Im older and embrace the acts of sex and love and enjoy the taste in my mouth,and feel the damp patch in my panties,yes im trans and love life and yes i go cottaging,it's one of my fantasy's as well as something i enjoy.I haven't whored myself yet but my group sex fantasy's have been turned into reality.Embrace it honey.

thanks so much for ur positive response! ur absolutely right, i am entitled to my fantasies & living them out & enjoying them. my original concern was what do i have left after my fantasies are fullfilled, but u helped me realize fantasy & doing things are both part of who i am sexually so i should do both, right? like my sexual identity, my sexual being doesn't stop because i've tried something i've been fantasizing about.

btw i think it's awesome you have lived out some of ur fantasies. i'm really looking forward to having group sex myself, me in the middle of course :)

fuckme-5566
Posted (edited)

Being in the middle of a group sandwich is something i would definitely recommend.To orally please two guys at once with hopefully other guys watching and waiting a true pleasure.Usually it didn't work out like it does in a porn film when the girl-sub-bottom gets a facial from everyone.The guy's watching would get it on with each other.The possibilities are endless.

Edited by fuckme-5566
sysper
Posted
1 hour ago, fuckme-5566 said:

Being in the middle of a group sandwich is something i would definitely recommend.To orally please two guys at once with hopefully other guys watching and waiting a true pleasure.Usually it didn't work out like it does in a porn film when the girl-sub-bottom gets a facial from everyone.The guy's watching would get it on with each other.The possibilities are endless.

u give me alot to look forward too! i do try & remind myself real life isn't allways like the movies. but i'm still very eager to see what happens. i'm pretty open to the possibilities. thanks for ur encouragement!

fuckme-5566
Posted (edited)

I visit a gay sauna that is very close to me.I don't imagine many guys visit because the masseur is good with his hands,but more about discovering what is under a guy's towel or behind his robe that isn't tied very tight,if at all.Everyone who visits gets naked and takes a shower first and naughty things do happen in the shower.watersports.Guys pissing on and into the mouths of other guys.The whirlpool is nice too.Cosy enough so everyone can be within reach,and to be honest gay gays adore cock and balls.There are private rooms as well to go to for sex.They get used a lot.Fucking,sucking,spit roasting and even the occasional gang bang.I like the glory holes but generally leave the door unlocked and slightly open so guys can see as i pleasure a guy.I have an exhibitionist streak in me that has never gone away.The sauna itself,hot and hopefully full of hot and sweaty men,and hopefully naked.If it's a film you want to watch the sauna runs x rated gay porno films and it's a pleasure to pleasure a guy as i watch the movie before i have the urge to sink to my knees and fill my mouth,or let the guy take over and hold my face in his lap and goes at my mouth like a steam train.Lastly there is the sling.Naked and utterly defenseless with both holes available guy's are tied into a sling suspended from the ceiling.I find such places are much safer than the woods or a park but sometimes i need the danger of being caught late at night in a park in my stiletto heeled shoes and a latex dress and stockings I LOVE BEING GAY.almost as much as being a slut.

Edited by fuckme-5566

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