sexual guilt about liking 2 women togather

[sy****]

i love the thought of 2 women togather. as in i reeeeeeealy love the thought of 2 women togather. it's the most erotic, hot, sexual, sensual, intimate, beautifull sex for me. for me there's nothing higher. if i ever wanted to be a women 99% of the reason would be so that i could be a women who can experiance the sexual touch of another women. that's how high i value it, that's how high it turns me on.
the problem is, i'm a man. which is not a problem in itself. i accept this. i embrace this. being a man makes sense to me. i have questioned this as i do alot of things in life & the answer has allways been "ur a man." but because of this i will never experiance that level of sexuality i see 2 women can have. i fear my interests in the same sex might be an attempt to get as close to it as possible. sometimes i try & justify it by wanting to give same pleasure to a women, of her watching me with another man & her being as turned on about the thought of 2 members of the opposite sex togather as me.
the bigger problem is i feel guilty about me really liking 2 women being togather. only because it's not definite i would like to be with a member of the same sex myself. in fact sometimes i feel like i'm forcing my same sex desires. it seems fair if i think 2 females is a good idea so should 2 males. some women might have the same appreciation as me, i wouldn't wanna be a hypocrite & not be willing to experiance what i would like 2 members of the opposite sex to experiance. part of this might be female bisexuality is far more accepted in society than male bisexuality which i think is unfair & i would like to do something about it. but that's not the main issue i struggle with. i fear at least some of my motivation to be with a member of the same sex is to be fair with my appreciation of the lesbian experiance. i wanna believe my wish for women to experiance each other is for there benefit & not for mine. maybe also i'm really very str8 & my desires to be with a member of the same sex is a kind of punishment of myself. it's hard to explain. i'm pretty confused about the whole thing. have been for years.