Yep, communication is key, it's the answer to learning, growing, dating, relationships, everything! It's that simple, but that's what makes it so hard. We're victims of our fear of speaking up, fear of rejection, our politeness.
If you feel uncomfortable saying something, maybe that's because it's important to you, and you're just scared of the other's reaction. If it's important, go for it. If it's not important, go for it too, it'll be good training. If you're the recipient of someone's communication, and that person is making an effort to express what they care about: Listen to what they say, think about it, make an effort to appreciate it and when you answer, be prepared to communicate, maybe feel uncomfortable and to evolve. Don't react on autopilot, take your time and think about things. Communicate your need to think, just don't fall for politeness and trying to escape the unpleasant situation. It will only be resolved if you go through the unpleasantness in your mind and your heart first.
That's especially true when it comes to sex. Just say what you want to say. Don't hold yourself and your partner back by not telling them what to do. Don't wait for a better moment. There's no such thing as the perfect moment. Just tell her that you'd like her to stick her finger in your butt. Tell him not to turn his hand in your pussy because it hurts when he does. For a second it might seem better to just go for it and to hope that he'll figure it out all by himself. But why keep hoping for thought reading superpowers, when you could just turn him into your super lover with the pure power of words.
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