The female orgasm is a complicated thing. Some women need a special vibrator to get off, and others might still be figuring out how to reach their peak. Then there are those who are multi-orgasmic. Fuck.com asked Kayla Lords to describe what it means and what it's like.


I spent the first 32 years of my life not realising I could have real orgasms. I was a faker long before I understood what I was faking. After the first time masturbating and coming, I learned something new about myself in the days that followed - I’m one of those multi-orgasmic people, able to have one after another after another. 

You won’t hear me whine about it - some people who would kill for this ability. And while I can’t speak to the challenges people who can’t have multiple orgasms experience, I can tell you what it’s like - good and bad - to have multiple orgasms.

 

It’s Possible

The first thing is to debunk the myth that it’s almost impossible for women to have even the first orgasm. A truism (for some/most women) is that we need a warm-up. We need to be present and in the moment and stimulating our vulva isn’t always enough. Bringing us to orgasm must be a full-body experience.

Yes. Sometimes. For some women. Others, like myself, don’t need 30 minutes of warm-up and foreplay. And even when we do, because yes, our thinking brains often get in the way of our physical pleasure, one big screaming fit isn’t always the end of our orgasmic experience. We need more than the few minutes of stimulation we might get for that first orgasm. 

In my experience, when I have more bullets in the barrel, I am left with a physical ache, a longing for more. When I feel like this, it’s time to finger me, stroke my clit, get the vibrator, whatever it takes, but stimulate my body so that I can come...and come...and come.

Passionate couple having sex. Fuck.com
 

Sensitivity Can Be An Issue

Any bearer of a clitoris can feel too sensitive to continue - after one orgasm or ten. In my experience, sometimes my clit feels like it’s going to explode from the slightest touch. That’s great for a quick release, but not so great if you want something that you feel from the bottoms of your feet up to the top of your head.

A sensitive clit can lead to painful orgasms. I’m also a masochist who enjoys particular pain. The fire of an oversensitized clitoris and orgasms that come one after the other can be fun and kinky, or it can be excruciating. While sensitivity is great for getting quick orgasms and even better for multiple orgasms, it sucks to feel like sandpaper is rubbing against your clit. 

 

Forced Orgasms are Easier

From conversations I’ve had with other people who play with forced orgasms as part of their kinky sex, it can be painful if orgasms don’t come quick or easy. To force that one and only orgasm takes time, and requires plenty of vibrations and stimulation. As a multi-orgasmic person with a sensitive clit, it seems to be easier to achieve forced orgasms. The first one may take a few minutes, but once my body gets on a roll, it almost can’t stop.

Sometimes my partner uses a toy. Sometimes he uses his hand. He’s slapped his cock against my clit during sex to squeeze out a few more orgasms. Since I enjoy pain and love the wiped out feeling I get after orgasms are ripped from my body, I have no complaints. But in my experience, after a session like this, I will need a nap.

 

I Assume I’m an Anomaly

I don’t walk around thinking other people are multi-orgasmic. For some people, they just aren’t wired that way. Others are still figuring out their bodies and their comfort level with their sexuality. Still, other people may have assumed they can’t - because according to the rest of the world, it’s so hard for us to have even one - and stop once they come the first time.

No one should feel bad if they can’t have multiple orgasms. Discovering whether you can or not could be part of your sexual exploration. I can’t tell you how to do it, only that if you’re curious, to try. Some people need specific toys (powerful wand massagers can be good for this in my experience) because their hand isn’t enough.

Multiple orgasms shouldn’t be viewed as a mountain to climb or a thing to cross off your list. Instead, if you’re curious, let the discovery process guide you to explore your pleasure and how you come in new ways. You may never have back-to-back orgasms as I do, but you might learn more about yourself and your sexual pleasure in the process.


Kayla Lords is a freelance writer, sex blogger, and a masochistic babygirl living the 24/7 D/s life. Follow her on Twitter @Kaylalords.


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