Lonely hearted A-listers are bothering the masses online

 

Celebrities are there to be adored and most of us have enjoyed a few starfucker inspired fantasies in our time, but getting inside their clothes? Well that’s a pleasure usually reserved for die hard groupies or professional sex workers. However, the world of dating has recently been graced by the arrival of numerous lovesick famous people via the glories of Tinder. Online dating sites, apps and chat rooms have always had a few celebrity lurkers, Halle Berry has admitted to chatting incognito and Adele set up a photo-less profile on e-harmony after one of her numerous painful break ups, but now a new crop of bolder stars are getting their guns or buns out on a verified account. But could you really fuck a celebrity courtesy of Tinder?

 

Tinder announced in July 2015 that people in the public eye could confirm their identity on a profile, meaning the little people – that’s us – could easily stalk, harass and potentially screw, an A-lister. So if the public figure you’ve been lusting after since puberty pops up in your recommendations, they are the real enchilada and you should go for it.

 

Starfuckers, Inc.

 

fuck-celebrity-courtesy-tinder-2

 

Of all the dating outlets available on the internet, Tinder has proven the most popular with actors, actresses and singers, though naturally there have been issues. First, there are plenty of tribute acts out there who are willing to take advantage of a famous name to attract potential dates, second, if a profile is genuine, the star could end up smothered by the attention. But with the various controls now offered by the swipe-o-matic app, anyone can streamline their admirers. Justin Mateen is the dating app’s chief marketing officer, he recently explained that “Tinder gives them [celebrities] the control to filter through the noise and communicate with people they want to know.”

 

Somewhat satisfyingly the beautiful people also experience the same awkward and unnerving, online dating disasters as the rest of us. Back in 2011 Ricky Lake was honest enough to share in public, the kind of story most of us would save for our best friend, at 2am, after three bottles of wine. After delivering the classic alarm bell line, ‘my friends thought I was crazy’, Lake explained she met an English guy online who turned out to be a two timing, green card hungry jerk ,who was never in love with her and worse still – mean about her kids behind her back. She dumped him before anything became official but only after enduring 6 months of his emotional dicking around.

 

UFC bantam weight star Ronda Rousey also felt let down by online dating sites. After seeing all her friends hook up, she decided to create a profile but found her fame inhibited any kind of genuine interaction. The fighter recently told Sports Illustrated:"the only person I'm making out with is my dog."

 

Most celebs using online dating sites are just having fun

 

Despite the odd horror story, most celebs using online dating sites are just having fun, flirting, and in the case of Chelsea Handler, looking for hot sex with “anonymous, random men", according to an announcement she chose to make on her E! Show, Chelsea Lately. Hillary Duff is also single and ready to mingle, in April she described a pleasant enough bowling date with a guy she met on Tinder: “we didn’t have to talk too much, but we did talk a lot actually”, which sounds cute, then there’s Lindsay Lohan who outed her brother as a user after she spotted him during a swipe session, and Lily Allen who told Twitter she’d waved ‘goodbye to life’ since getting a dose of Tinder fever. After a few high profile relationship meltdowns, Katy Perry has also turned to the open arms of online dating to get her rocks off and explains that’s why she’s still single “"I'm really deep on Tinder so I don't have a whole lot of time."

 

Tinder gets you knee high in hotties within minutes of downloading the app and no doubt that element of immediacy appeals to all members. It uses a ‘first glance’ way of liking someone, just as if you were scanning the joint in a bar or club...great fun. So what about fucking a celebrity? Well, if you see a little verification tick, there’s no reason why you couldn’t end up taking things further, or at least attempting to – they wouldn’t be on Tinder if they weren’t ready for a bit of rough – right? How likely that is to happen is going to depend largely on your location, or the location you choose to input. As the app uses GPS coordinates to link you up with profiles, unless you’ve got a little pad in the Hollywood hills, London, or NYC you might have to keep on swiping.

 


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I LOVE IT

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