It may no longer be the place where everyone starts their kinky explorations, but spanking remains one of the easiest games you can play with a partner – or several. Unlike a lot of fetish-related practices, you won’t need to sign up for a course in How to Spank before you can try it out. You don’t need anything but yourselves to start having fun. Just put the other person over your knee, bare the bum cheeks and away you go!

 

You may not want or need to do very much if you’re working with a virgin hand and a virgin bottom: by the time the spankee is getting that nice, warm glow and starting to squirm with pleasure, the spanker’s hand is quite often getting a little sore. You can spank with a flat palm, or cup your hand a little to deliver each blow; you can alternate between striking each cheek in turn and concentrating on just the one, as well as administering a spank or two that lands across both together.

There’s quite probably a corner of the Internet where people debate, intensely and bitterly, whether you can still call it spanking if anything other than the bare hand is used on the bottom. Mostly, however, it’s acknowledged that you can employ tools if you want to – especially since the only thing that matters is that all concerned are enjoying themselves. Also, if you’re the top/dominant partner, you’re not supposed to be the one who has a sore place the next day – I did, in my early experimentations, sometimes find both my palm and my arm knew all about the sustained, delicious hiding I’d dished out the night before.

Back in the 90s on the UK kink scene, there was something of a divide between those who liked CP (corporal punishment, which included caning and the use of paddles, rulers, hair brushes and plimsolls), and what was then called SM (leather, rubber, bondage and whips.) There was plenty of crossovers, not least regarding loads of people enjoying both styles of play. In general, though, the CP scene had less of a dress code and was more likely to feature ‘schoolmistress/schoolmaster’-style role play

Nowadays pretty much everything comes under the BDSM umbrella, and there is less of a division when it comes to the appropriate tools to use. A punishment ‘spanking’ might easily involve a whip or one of those cute heart-shaped leather paddles, and many a scene in a fetish club will begin with a hand-spanking to warm the bottom up for further and more intense impacts.

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Schoolmistress-style role play

Spanking Good Tips

The human backside is, as some have said, perfectly designed for spanking. It’s well-cushioned, visually appealing, and the cheeks wobble delightfully with each impact. The only caution needed is if you are using something like a flogger or whip – make sure you don’t hit above the bottom because the lower back is a no-go zone for any impact play.

The classic spanking position is for the willing victim to lie across the lap of whoever is going to administer the spanks, but there are various other forms. There is a whole book dedicated to spanking positions (The Big Bad Book Of Spanking Positions by Peter Birch) which, well, does exactly what it says on the tin.

If your intent is sexy spanking rather than ritualised punishment, you can do quite a lot of stroking and groping in between spanks. Pinching and scratching the heated flesh can also be a whole lot of fun. For caning, flogging or using any other implement which needs a good swing of the arm, the person to be spanked needs to be bent over something – or standing, upright. Sometimes you might want to include handcuffs or rope so your partner can’t get away. Or, if you are in the realm of Traditional Discipline, you can order your victim to touch their toes and hold the position while you get to work.

Caning is something that does need a little more skill: the usual advice is to practice first on something like a cuddly toy or a plush cushion, propped up at about the height your partner’s bottom would be. You need to be reasonably accurate with a cane, or the experience will not be pleasant – or rather, it will be the wrong sort of unpleasant.

Spanking, flogging and caning can leave marks, and someone who is getting it for the first time may not know how their skin will react. Even a hand-spanking, done hard or lengthily on easily-bruising flesh, can have a lingering memory and a good caning will definitely leave welts. Discuss it with your spankee first, and if they are off to the family nudist beach the next day, either go gently or consider rescheduling.


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