Okay so maybe we don't have exactly nine million reasons, but you get the fucking point. Masturbation is joy, but what of mutual masturbation? Some might cringe and think, “That’s supposed to be private!” And in some cases, you may want it that way. But there is another side to masturbating that goes above and beyond self-play, and that’s masturbating with your partner.

Mutual Masturbation, Oh My!

 

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There are many articles circling the internet about masturbation being healthy for us, and mutual masturbation is too. It can help physically, mentally, emotionally, and even help to strengthen our relationships.

A huge concern for some:
Especially when folks have multiple partners—is the spread of STDs. Things like HPV and HSV can even spread via hands if the infected party is touched and the non-infected party immediately touched afterward. Transmission rates may vary, but it’s possible to spread these STDs even with the hands and mouth. At a time when so many people I know have HPV, this is dangerous. I want to share intimate moments with my partners, but surely don’t want to get a cancer-causing virus. Mutual masturbation prevents from this exposure because you’re touching yourself rather than one another. It’s helpful for safety reasons.

Besides, masturbating with your partner is hot!

I love watching my partners touch themselves. It’s such a turn on. Even for the ones that I can safely be intimate with in a more physical manner, I still love watching them touch themselves. And touching myself in front of them? So hot too!

Masturbation often comes with a level of humiliation. Partly—I believe—because it’s something that is shamed for so many as they grow. It can be embarrassing to want to explore your body, even though I feel it’s far healthier to do so. Being able to discover yourself and pleasure yourself in front of your partner is telling them that you trust them with that level of vulnerability. It makes for deeper connections.

More trust.

Intercourse can be simple for a lot of folks. Especially with the lights off and bodies hidden under covers… Touching your most intimate bits while allowing your partner to watch might be embarrassing, but it can lead to so much as well. Including bad-ass sex.

Personally, I loved being teased by my partner. When one of them is touching their cock, I squirm and feel the desire to jump in and take over. The longer I’m not allowed to do so, the more I crave him. So when I do get to join in, I’m eager and ready to pounce!

Mutual masturbation is fantastic foreplay, especially with new partners.

Another reason to have mutual self-play is that it gives your partner (especially if they are new) a chance to witness what you like as they watch you pleasure yourself. This can help if you aren’t as vocal in bed and get worried about speaking up if something doesn’t feel good. As I’m often told in the writing world, “Show, don’t tell!”

Show your partner what you like.

No matter your reasons for masturbating with your partner(s), there are only upsides to doing so. It’s safe for people with STDs or concerns about them, it’s hot for those that like to watch, and it can lead to wonderful sex afterward and build deeper levels of intimacy and trust. Self-play with your partner makes for a winning encounter.

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.
 


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