Love and romance, cue music and flowers, hearts and lollipops! Is it real? Should you go all out to create this monogamous and committed life forever with one single person? Lives change and people develop over time, they mature and gain more wisdom as they have different experiences and jobs. So if you're looking for 'The One' nowadays it seems you may be in for a chain of 'ones' if marriage and divorce statistics are to be believed. So, is a 'Fuck Buddy' the answer to problems of creating long term and committed relationships? Guess this is a question you need to answer. And yes, the best fuck buddy should be someone you can also trust and love as a friend. Maybe you won't be planning to spend the rest of your life with this pal, but if you develop a close relationship you'll both be aware that you'll be there for each other when needed, and perhaps even still be in touch when you're both old, grey and wrinkled. Unlike the divorcee living next door who never sees her ex-husband.
Good sex isn't just about the athletic prowess of your partner, it's also about caring for the other person. Caring enough to give each other a great time and want to come back for more. Fucking loads of different people in a chain of one nighters can be hazardous to your health and you're unlikely to experience the highs of great sex. A regular sex friend you can contact when needed on the other hand gives you opportunities to learn each others bodies and ways to please one another.
Trusting your fuck buddy is another important aspect of the friendship. If they're into regular sex with different people and strangers then you may reconsider your decision to set up a friendship of this nature. If you set out guidelines for your friendship before moving into the sex side of it, then you'll both be aware just how far to take your relationship. And yes, it's perfectly possible to trust and adore your sex buddy and continue leading the kind of single lifestyle you need. You don't have to imprison each other with promises of true love, faithfulness and 'til death us do part' statements that are likely to be broken in the near future. Why bother? You can have the best of both worlds; a true and loving friend and still go out building your career, enjoying all the other aspects of your life and you're safe in the knowledge that you've got each other to provide that loving touch that's missing from the lives of so many singles.
Perhaps this idea of true love and searching for 'The One' is all some kind of advertisers dream and old hat in the modern world. It seems safe to say that the more people you get out and meet in life, the more attractions and physical encounters you're likely to have. Aren't you just sick of all those hypocritical fat cats with their commitments to married life and loving one person until the next newspaper hits the shelf outing them as having affairs or even sickening perversions?
Life is for living and if you've got a good fuck buddy (or perhaps even two) then you can be sure you'll end up living it more fully than the guy next door who's been locked into romancing the same girl for the past few years. As you watch them squabbling while they wash his car or see them out in local pubs and clubs ignoring each other because they've had one of their stupid arguments about nothing, then hold your head high and be proud of the fact you've embraced your sexuality and physical needs, without locking yourself into what often turns into a childish love relationship purely for the sake of regular sex.
Sex columnist, photographer and sex blogger Molly Moore responds to a man who feels guilty about getting aroused after getting a
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