Brainstorming first date ideas is a bit nerve-wracking even for those of us who are already over most of the ridiculous Hollywoodised game-playing of modern dating culture. Sure, we know that there’s no such thing as the “three-day rule” and that a four course candlelit meal costing a full week’s wages is overkill to the point of creepy, but that doesn't mean we’re not a bit nervous about wanting to give a good first impression. Whether you’re looking for a serious relationship with a friend of a friend or a casual sex hook up with someone you found that day on an online dating site, here are seven tried-and-true ideas for an unforgettable first date that we hope will lead you directly into the heart and/or underwear of your intended..

 

1. Break Into Somewhere*


Urban landscapes are full of unexplored places - abandoned buildings, hidden alleyways, disused factories, little scraps of wilderness hidden on the other side of hoardings that have been up for so long nobody can see them any more. Whether you want to get into urban exploration, do something desperately romantic or just find a great place to have some outdoor sex that will leave you both with a story you’ll always remember, honing your break-in skills can lead to some of the best first dates you've ever had.

 

2. Try Something Steamy


Sex club saunas have been a good place to take a casual first date since the eighties - if you happened to be a cisgendered man interested in scheduling a hook up with another cisgendered man, that is. These days, however, some of the best are starting to branch out; you can now find sauna nights that are frequented by people of all manner of gender identities and sexualities, including several that are for female-identified and trans* people only. The atmosphere on these nights tends to be a lot more laid-back and relaxed than you might imagine - there certainly will be people playing and fucking, but there will be just as many simply hanging out with dates and friends in the comfort of a relaxed and body-positive atmosphere. It’s a surprisingly intimate and convivial experience, and it’s a good place to bond in any way you fancy.

 

3. Get Your Adrenaline Going


This is an increasingly popular first date idea, sure, but that’s because it’s actually good advice - sharing something exciting and active on a first date accelerates bonding, allows you to find out what your new hook up is like in an intense situation, and leads on to some truly great sex afterwards. Plus, you’re a lot more likely to find someone interesting on an online dating site if you've got a few solid ideas about activities you’d like to try than if you’re just after dinner and a movie. Some of the best options include trampolining, Zorbing, bungee jumping and good old-fashioned roller coasters.

 

4. Do A Little Shopping


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Most sufficiently large cities now have their own monthly or quarterly fetish fairs and alternative markets. Even if you don’t buy anything, the window-shopping from stall to stall is a lot of fun all by itself - and most vendors will let you and your partner have a quick try of anything that isn’t disposable or a hygiene concern. What better way to make an impression on someone you met at an online dating site than to give them their first introduction to a violet wand? Even better, several of these markets turn into club nights at the end of the working day - perfect.

 

5. Learn a New Skill


We've all read a hundred articles explaining the benefits of taking a class in something on a first date with someone new, and that’s pretty sound advice - but there’s no reason that class should be about pottery or perfume-making. LGBT, kink, feminist and sex-positive organisations the world over are now offering courses and open days that focus on Shibari, edge play, tantra, suspension and anything else you can imagine - including how to give a killer blowjob. How’s that for a bonding first date experience?

 

6. Have an Outbreak of Class


Everyone should have the opportunity to do this at least once in their lives, if they’re someone who’s interested in casual sex: schedule a hook up with someone you know you desperately want to sleep with but wouldn't want to have a relationship with. Book the absolute fanciest and most expensive hotel room you can afford. Bask in the lap of luxury while screwing each other’s brains out all night and ordering room service. This one is almost better if you never see the person again; that way it can be a shining, glittering, “we’ll always have Paris”-style memory for you both for always.

 

7. Keep It Simple, Stupid


Finally, it’s important not to forget that sometimes the oldest tricks are the best. Those of us who live in big cities in the Western world are so saturated now with multi-sensory dining experiences and open-air cinemas serving hand-blended craft gin that we’re in danger of forgetting the joy of a few pints in your local pub followed by a post-coital Chinese takeaway eaten in bed. Sometimes it’s best not to overcomplicate things!
 


*This might be considered trespassing, breaking-and-entering, or something else equally illegal where you live. Be sure to check local laws before trying out this first date idea and definitely don't do anything illegal. And telling authority figures that you got the idea from Fuck.com will probably not get you out of jail.


© Warren Goldswain / Dollar Photo Club and goodluz / Dollar Photo Club

Abi Brown is a freelance writer and general pen-for-hire devoted to genre fiction, social justice and M.A.C lipstick. Follow her on her website or @see_abi_write.

 


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